I have a friend of mine who has been in a relationship for a couple years with the same person. Last year, she found out that he cheated on her. It took some time to recover from that, but they got through it. Last month, she found out that he cheated on her again. Unfortunately it has been a pretty embarrassing experience since she found out. She had been on facebook and started thinking that something was up. She decided to follow him (I know a bit spooky but her choice) and followed him out one night. They ended up at a well known pizza joint. She waited in the parking lot and then saw him approach another woman. Without going into too much detail, it was obvious that the two of them had something going on. Heartbroken, my friend started doing some digging and found that he had even created a profile on a dating site and had been looking to hook up with others while they had been together all this time.
She finally confronted him on it this past weekend and needless to say she is heartbroken, embarrassed and now single.
Of course the hurtful things that come out when someone is caught are horrible. The blame, the finger pointing. This guy even had the nerve to say that they weren't married so he didn't do anything wrong. They were in a 4 year relationship. My heart hurts for her and I truly hope she can get over this guy and find someone who will respect her, love her and be there for her.
Now you may be wondering why I just shared such a story with you. Well I wanted to set the mood. Now I'd like you to take the above story and make some changes to the characters and actions.
A man has been in a relationship, for a couple of years, with the same person. Last year, that person, found out that this man cheated on him. It took some time to recover from that, but they got through it. Last month, he found out that he cheated on him again. Unfortunately it was pretty embarrassing. He saw his boyfriend had created a profile on a dating site (which happened to be an adult gay dating site) and had a full profile, including provocative photos in the nude and partially nude. He decided to contact his boyfriend, as someone else, to see if he could catch him cheating. They started emailing and texting (texts and more provocative photos) and decided to meet up at a local restaurant. It was at that time that they both realized what was going on and this guy had been caught cheating once again.
Of course the hurtful things that come out when someone is caught are horrible. The blame, the finger pointing. This guy even had the nerve to say that they weren't married so he didn't do anything wrong. They were in a 3 year relationship.
I would think that at this point, you would see the similarities and maybe even notice your change in opinions between these two very similar stories. Only the characters themselves were changed.
Now let's throw a few more things into the mix.
The man who was caught cheating, is the highest elected law enforcement officer in the county. He is the Sheriff and he took an oath that is a sworn commitment to act in an ethical manner.
This elected officer who swore to act in an ethical manner has admitted that he:
- Was in a relationship
- Cheated on his lover
- Sent provocative photos and texts to a stranger
- Had a profile on an adult site, that included provocative photos and a request for sex.
We also are now hearing that the man that he had a relationship with may have been here illegally, but both sides of the story claim that he is legal. His boyfriend allegedly has a 10 year tourist visa that prevents him from working or volunteering with any organization, unless it is a non profit organization that helps the needy.
The Sheriff has confirmed that this man volunteered on his campaign for several years. He was an unpaid volunteer who was responsible for running the Sheriff's website and social media. The Sheriff states that he was not paid. Once this man stopped working on the Sheriff's sites, the Sheriff then handed the position over to a paid staff person to manage. Why was one man asked to volunteer for several years and then another was paid to take it over? I'm just curious.
Additional news sources however are alleging that this man was paid by the Sheriff and that he worked on several other campaigns and was also paid for that work, so there is more to learn. (Click here for that story) (Another here)
We were told that this person was threatened with deportation if their relationship ever came out. Although some text messages have been released that may support that, I believe there is more information that should come out to support or deny this claim. I'd like to see the letters that were sent after Sept 7th. Why did this man feel that he needed an attorney? What was stated in the letters between his attorney and the Sheriff's attorney? Was the fact that he was violating his visa, that allowed him to be in the US, enough ammo for the Sheriff to threaten to have his Visa revoked? Those letters may shed some light on this issue.
Now of course this article wouldn't be complete if the fact that the Sheriff is gay, wasn't addressed. Is the issue really that he is a gay man? Or are there other issues such as the fact that he never told anyone and was "in the closet"? Let's go with another similar comparison shall we?
Let's imagine this man was not gay, but a straight man. Let's imagine that he was involved in some type of racist movement (I am not claiming that this man is racist, simply telling a story). He would have received money from supporters who believed that same train of thought. His supporters would want to see him get into office to represent their views. Hundreds of thousands of dollars later, and thousands of followers later, imagine that it is announced that this man's father is an African American and he never told anyone. Do you think his supporters would feel betrayed? Would they be upset that he hid this information from them? Probably. The point again here is not that people found out that this man was African American (or gay) it's that he hid that information from people that believed certain things and because of what they believed, and what they thought he stood for, they supported him.
Bottom line, regardless of how good you think "your Sheriff" has been to the county, do these issues paint a picture of a person who maybe forgot that he swore to act in an ethical manner? Do you wonder if he broke the trust of his lover, his supporters and who knows who else, that maybe his priorities are a little out of focus?
Don't you think that as an elected official or officer or even as a celebrity, that you are a role model to others? How many times have officials, officers or celebrities been caught doing something in their "personal" lives that negatively impacted their professional careers? We tell our children, our friends and our employees not to do anything in their "personal" lives that will reflect poorly on them and negatively impact their professional life. Nude or semi nude photos being texted and posted to online sites, etc, doesn't seem to show the best judgment, and we already know how many professional lives have been damaged because of people having done this.
Stand up for the Sheriff and continue your support if these issues don't bother you. That is absolutely your choice. What I do ask however is that each of you stop claiming that the "backlash" is simply because the Sheriff is gay because it isn't. The Sheriff has stated that he feels liberated now that he is out and that he has a right to be gay. I agree with him and I'm glad that he feels better. I would think that after reading this article however, that you consider that the Sheriff being gay isn't the issue and that maybe, just maybe, as an elected officer, we were expecting more out of him both personally and professionally then we've received.BLOG COMMENTS POWERED BY DISQUS